Just two weeks into tax season, I’ve already broken both promises I made to myself. This week I worked past 5:00 PM and worked Saturday, the two things I promised myself I would not do.

As much as I tout the importance of protecting your mental health first, there are times that you can’t. Sometimes life throws too much at you, and all you can do is keep going forward. And honestly, it sucks.

I’m doing okay, but I’m not worried about today. I’m concerned about what the future will bring, and more specifically, the days after tax season.

Pushing myself now as a tax preparer will come with a price, and every year that toll is higher. In the meantime, if I want to keep my job, I must do what needs to be done.

Doing what you must

It is vital to make your mental health a priority, at least as often as you can. There will be times you can’t. Your family, job, or relationship may demand more of you than you feel like you can give. During those times, you will probably have to push to keep going.

Most of us don’t have the option of snacking on grapes while sitting poolside. Instead, we work, care for our loved ones, and try to have at least a semblance of a social life. Running is a reality of life in this world.

We weren’t meant to live with mental illnesses. Add to that, much of the world doesn’t understand what we’re fighting. In their ignorance, they expect more of us than is reasonable.

So you smile and push and race past your limits. You need to eat, so you keep going to work to earn your paycheck. The baby needs to be fed, so you get out of bed no matter how awful you feel.

You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed.

Looking for light

How am I dealing with everything? I’m making a plan for after tax season to take time off. My goal is to take a week in May to focus on nothing but caring for my mom and working in the yard.

Having a goal in sight is my light at the end of the tunnel. Even the slightest flicker of light can give you strength, so that’s what will keep me going through the next 70+ days.

Find your light and then keep it in front of you.

Reminder: Your path is unique to you

Many of you are new here this week. (Welcome!) For both the newbies and you veteran readers, I want to remind you that you may not be able to follow all of my advice.

Your journey with bipolar disorder is unique, as is mine, and every other person fighting this monster. Some of you will have access to therapists and hospital care, while others will not.

Many of you will be able to work while many others cannot. You may find stability soon after your diagnosis or it may take years to get your mind in line.

I share my experiences here, on SpeakingBipolar.com, and in the Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club to promote validation and understanding. It’s my goal to make you feel less alone, not tell you what to do.

I know I’m one of the lucky ones. For most of the last 20 years, I have worked nearly full time. During the rough patches, I often had employers willing to work with me and my illness. I also had the support of my parents and close friends.

You don’t see it all

You may feel your path is easier or harder, but there’s really no way to know. None of us can step into another person’s mind and truly grasp the internal storm they are facing.

Please also remember that I rarely share my worst days. While I occasionally talk about the darkest days, most of the time, I try to keep each newsletter positive and upbuilding.

Even if it appears my ship is sailing smooth waters, it’s just because there are a lot of waves you never see.

Finally, we all need to find our own coping methods. I love journaling and writing, but you may love painting, dancing, or mud running to work out your frustrations. Take the suggestions that will work for you and then leave the rest behind.

Life is tough in this world, especially when everything feels like a dumpster fire, but you have to keep going. Always remember you’re not the only one suffering, but together, we can all make it through.

Reader, thank you for being part of my journey.

Until next time, keep fighting.

Scott Ninneman

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Additional Reading:

• ​Does Working the Night Shift Affect Bipolar Disorder?​
• ​Don't Do What I Did: Fighting For You With Bipolar Disorder​
• ​Fight Feelings of Failure and Keep Moving Forward​​
• ​New Year's Resolutions - a Poem​
• ​Why I Recommend "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero​
• ​Archive Newsletters​