Yep, I'm a bit late today. Long story, but I won't bore you with the details. Since the leaves are rapidly falling outside my window, I used them as inspiration. This week's featured post is about how you can be like a tree.

Reader, I hope all is well with you. Thank you for being here today.

Until next time, keep fighting.

Scott Ninneman

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Be Like a Tree and Let Your Past Fall Away

Today is the day to let go.

My lungs ached like I'd just been punched in the chest. It took all of my strength to push open the stairway door, only to collapse on the first concrete step when the door closed. Drawing in air was impossible, and I wondered if I would ever breathe again.

Over lunch, one of my best "friends" had confessed that he’d been lying to me and trash talking me behind my back. It was exactly what I imagined was going on, but until he said it out loud, I could believe it was just my bipolar brain tricking me. When he said the actual words that confirmed my worst feelings, it was heavier than I expected.

My other friends warned me that our friendship one sided, but I believed he was better than they said. He was the charming, happy-go-lucky guy who drew in the kind-hearted like a spider drawing flies to his web. Who wouldn’t want him around? Forget about the fact that my wallet bled cash every time he showed up.

He didn’t have the depth to be the friend I wanted him to be. For whatever reason, he chose that lunch to admit it.

Anger

Afterwards, the angry beast inside me took over. All I wanted to do was destroy him and anything related to him. I sat at my office desk in a red blur, unable to do any of my work, until quitting time.

When I got home, I saw a small toy he had given me as a joke. I grabbed a hammer from the toolbox and smashed the plastic piece to bits. Then, I carefully glued each of the tiny pieces to a white piece of cardstock. When the glue dried, I stood the card up on my desk to remind me never to trust anyone again.

I was sure I would never get over the anger.

But I did.

“Be like a tree dropping leaves in the fall, and let your painful past fall away from you.” - Scott Ninneman

Truth

The thing is, nothing changed that day. I knew the truth. I just didn’t want to hear it out loud.

In that one conversation, my friend didn’t change. He was who he always had been. But I could no longer deceive myself into believing he was something better. My world changed when I was forced to see the truth. Like coming out of the Matrix, I was never going to be the same again.

The anger boiled inside me for months. Truth be told, there’s a small part of me that’s still angry when I think about it, but that part is tiny compared to what it once was.

After a while, I realized my anger wasn’t affecting him at all. He was living his normal life, flashing his smile, and using new friends for everything he could it. The fact his life no longer included me meant nothing to him.

I was sitting home alone drinking my anger poison and waiting for him to die. It was senseless.

When it finally clicked what I was doing, I decided to let it go. I forgave him from my heart, and let him vanish from my thoughts.

Peace

I will not pretend letting things go is easy. As I said, there’s a part of me that’s still angry, and it’s been nearly 20 years since the earth-shaking conversation. But mostly, I let it go.

I let my leaves fall and accepted what our friendship had been. I recognized he had no substance and chose not to be angry anymore.

Holding on to resentment only hurts you. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but there’s a peace that envelopes you when you finally let things go. No matter how much effort it takes, it’s worth it to achieve that tranquility.

For today, think about something you need to let go. Maybe it was someone who hurt you, the end of a relationship, or a boss who was especially unkind. Do they know the thing still bothers you? Probably not.

Today’s the day to let it go.

Like a tree, shed your leaves and make room for the fresh growth.

​Inspirational quotes can help you focus on what's most important. Check out this post for 51 motivating quotes.

Until next time, keep fighting.

I publish two newsletters each month. The All Things Bipolar Newsletter (this newsletter) features the newest content about bipolar life and goes out every other Sunday. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter is published on the other Sundays and shares inspirational stories to help you maintain a positive mindset.

Additional Reading:

• ​Beyond the Brush: How a New Hobby Can Heal​
• ​Bipolar Life: Be Careful Not To Trigger Yourself​
• ​Can Bipolar Disorder Make You Hurt?​
• ​Red Pill or Blue Pill: Would You Take One to Change Your Life Forever?​​
• ​Archive Newsletters​