Her eyes grew large as I passed the paperback book across the desk to her.

“How did you know?” she asked. All the color drained from her face.

For a few seconds, I thought I had made a horrible mistake, but now I’m so glad I shared my story.

Sharing your experiences about living with mental illness is valuable. You never know who in your circle is suffering and needs the encouragement you can give.

Should you tell everyone about your bipolar disorder? Probably not. But you should tell someone. Here’s why.

Sharing too much

Let’s face it, most of us with bipolar disorder are chronic over-sharers. Ask us for directions to the closest gas station, and we’ll tell you every detail of how our lives led up to that moment.

As the stranger drives away, more confused than ever, you beat yourself up.

“You did it again!” you scold yourself, and you vow never to tell anyone anything ever again.

Then for months, you lay awake, night after night, reliving the horrible moment you overwhelmed a lost traveler by sharing too much.

Once on a group hike, I mentioned to a new friend how I had spent some time in a psychiatric hospital.

“Oh, yeah?” my fellow hiker said. “How come?”

I was like a balloon full of water, and that simple question burst my bubble. For the next hour, word vomit spewed from my mouth, loud enough for everyone on the trail to hear.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable it was for everyone, especially since it was the first time I met most of them.

I didn’t share my bipolar diagnosis with any new friends for years after that. Yes, we over share, and then we over correct. Balance takes time.

Sharing with a purpose

This tax season, I’m sharing my book, Speaking Bipolar’s 30 Days of Positivity, with my favorite clients. Many of my customers love to read, so it’s the perfect opening for me to give them a copy.

I have known the woman mentioned above and her husband for a few years now. I knew she was an avid reader, so when I order copies of my book to give away, I set one aside for her.

After talking about which books we both had read lately, I told her I had a new book she might enjoy.

What I didn’t know until that tense moment was that she also has bipolar disorder. Maybe that’s why I like her so much.

I assured her I did not know she was fighting the same monster. Then I told her how I have bipolar 1 and have been telling my story online since 2018.

“This might be exactly what you need,” her husband told her, and my heart felt a happy, warm glow.

It breaks my heart to think of how many people hide their mental illnesses because someone abused them in the past. We’ve all been there. There are the jobs we missed out on, the dates who ghosted us, and the family who made us feel ashamed.

Even though terrible reactions may scar you, it’s still worth it to share your tale.

Sharing your story

Living with a mental illness is isolating. It often feels like being trapped on a deserted island with no one to talk to but your volleyball, Wilson. You hide your experiences because you fear stigma, useless advice, and the way people look at you with tilted heads after they know.

I hid my bipolar for many years. My family and a handful of close friends knew, but the rest of the time, it was my most-guarded secret. I was a spy from bipolar-land, and no one could know my true identity.

Then, one manic night, sitting on my bed with my laptop at 2:00 in the morning, I started my first blog. Writing under a penname, I shared my mental illness and how it made me feel.

What happened next amazed me. People read and responded to my words.

Those first readers encouraged me to share my true identity, and the Speaking Bipolar blog was born. It’s my hope that I’ve helped at least a few of you in the years since.

Sharing your wisdom

Your story has just as much value. Maybe you’ll never feel comfortable discussing your disorder online or in front of a large audience, but can you share it with one or two people? Far too many people are suffering in silence, and they’re desperately searching for any sign of hope.

Every client I shared my book with told me that either they were fighting a mental illness or someone close to them was. I had no idea, but I feel honored to know now.

If you’ve never told your story, maybe now is the time to start.

You can always feel out a friend by offering tidbits about depression or anxiety. Those topics are often less scary for people than jumping straight in with bipolar disorder. As you tell snippets of your story, watch how your listener responds.

You can pick up quickly which people are going to make you feel worse when they know, so stop talking and steer clear of those individuals.

If there’s a friend who lets you be yourself and rarely judges you, they may be where to start. Open up, and you may find how much you have in common.

After my client flipped through my book for a few minutes, she looked up at me and smiled.

“I can’t wait to read this,” she told me. My heart nearly exploded in my chest. Nothing could have felt better.

There are people in your life who are suffering from mental illness. Many of them will never tell you, but they live every day in painful silence.

You may be the light they need. Find a person you who makes you feel safe and start telling your story. Your strength may be what they need to keep going.

Journal Prompt

Do you share your story with others? Why or why not? Who do you know that might benefit from your experiences? Write a page about how you would like the conversation to go.

Reader, I would be happy to be the person you share with. Hit reply and tell me your story.

Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Until next time, keep fighting.

Scott Ninneman

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I publish two newsletters each week. The Sunday All Things Bipolar Newsletter (this newsletter) features the newest content about bipolar life. The Speaking Bipolar Positivity Club Newsletter shares inspirational stories to help you maintain a positive mindset.

Additional Reading:

• ​Keep Fighting: Success May Be Closer Than You Think​
• ​Seeing a Doctor, Learning About Anxiety, and Connecting in Group Therapy: Day 3 in a Psychiatric Hospital​
• ​The Signs My Parents Missed Before My Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis​
• ​What If It Ends? (Poem)​
• ​Why Bipolar Anger Still Scares Me Even After Decades of Treatment​
• ​Archive Newsletters​